Rediscovered

I would like to thank Kelle for helping me to rediscover my positive outlook on life. I've never met her, but she has influenced me greatly in the past several days. I found her blog through another that I read, and ever since reading that first heart-wrenching entry, I've been addicted. She's a beautiful person, inside and out, she's the type of person I would have wanted for a sister. Full of love and life.

My positive attitude has been a stranger to me over the past year or so. Things snowballed catastrophically and I was never really able to pull myself out of the pseudo-depression that followed. Kelle's blog has enticed me to remember to see the small beautiful things in life rather than focus on the larger more obvious negative things. DH, I know you've been telling me to do this for so long now, but it's been hard. Hard to find happiness for no reason, hard to just smile. I feel that way today. After a long hard road of a disappointment roller coaster, I am happy with what I have. It's so much more than most people in my situation. We haven't lost our house to the recession, we haven't had either of our cars repo'd. We have more than we could ever want. 2 great dogs, and a mostly awesome cat.

Life is good.

Monday, Monday

It's Monday again, I've found that I'm having trouble motivating myself for the week ahead. After a much needed relaxing weekend, it's just hard to get back into the swing of things. Don't get me wrong, I did spend a lot of the weekend reading and studying for my OB exam today, but it was hard. With DH pushing me to play video games and relax with him, it was even harder. We needed the time together though. We needed to just say fuck it and hang out. We so often get caught up in the business of our lives that we forget to spend time together. This usually leads to a really ugly fight and then the realization that we are just too overloaded, and usually being that overloaded is something we have chosen. He chose to work on the truck from sun-up to sun-down last week, but then was complaining about the fact that I was relaxing and enjoying free time while he wasn't. This wasn't my fault, but he couldn't see that. He just saw me sitting and being "lazy" while he busted his balls. He forgets that he needs to take time out. He wants to get as much done as he can as quickly as possible then burns himself out and takes it out on me. I love that he's proactive, but it's always best when he remembers that he can't do it all.

Note to Self:

Cramps are so much worse without my IUD!!!